Step 5: smoke a bowl
Step 6: put on the right music
Step 7: stop checking your phone
Step 8: decide on red lips and build the rest of the outfit from there

Step 5: smoke a bowl

Step 6: put on the right music

Step 7: stop checking your phone

Step 8: decide on red lips and build the rest of the outfit from there

(Source: xfackyoux)

Glorious green wishes to you on this Highest of Holy Days.

Glorious green wishes to you on this Highest of Holy Days.

So we were stoned and out of no where realised it’s almost April and fuck taxes are due! In a baked semi-panic we decided to get it over with and just do it, even though it had been a long day. We agreed to follow last years precedent and promised some making out followed by some filthy rough sex as soon as the daunting task of filing our taxes was complete. 
We set up at the dining room table, took turns choosing tunes and made light of our least favourite annual task. He wore a pair of costume glasses without lenses because he wanted to get into character. He called me by a secretary-ish name and we took breaks for snacks and goofiness. 
We finished! High-fived and then realised that we were space cadets and the deadline for filing is the end of April, not the 1st. 
Double high five! For once in our lives we did our taxes early. Thank you weed. 
How do we even qualify as grown ups?
(Also? He looks good in the glasses… time to make good on the smooch-fest with fucktacular results.)

So we were stoned and out of no where realised it’s almost April and fuck taxes are due! In a baked semi-panic we decided to get it over with and just do it, even though it had been a long day. We agreed to follow last years precedent and promised some making out followed by some filthy rough sex as soon as the daunting task of filing our taxes was complete. 

We set up at the dining room table, took turns choosing tunes and made light of our least favourite annual task. He wore a pair of costume glasses without lenses because he wanted to get into character. He called me by a secretary-ish name and we took breaks for snacks and goofiness. 

We finished! High-fived and then realised that we were space cadets and the deadline for filing is the end of April, not the 1st. 

Double high five! For once in our lives we did our taxes early. Thank you weed. 

How do we even qualify as grown ups?

(Also? He looks good in the glasses… time to make good on the smooch-fest with fucktacular results.)

(Source: cnutbuttahjellytime)

Inspire The Next: Preparation

2:47pm- Me: Careful, you don’t want to wear out my little mouth before the party… Him: Aw but you like it when you’re sore, makes you feel like such a good little slut doesn’t it? Me: *blushes*

3:32pm- Text from sansshame ”Don’t forget to bring your hitachi.” (That’s called foreshadowing guys and dolls.) My reply “How could I forget? Raven and I have been dirty talking about it all week.”

4:19pm- “Let’s smoke a joint and have an early dinner, I don’t want to feel bloated if we’re going to be group-naked later.” Genius plan.

6:51pm-  ”This is the smoothest it’s ever been. That’s how we do it from now on, you have a long bath before I shave your puss.” -My husband (Hee hee… This ritual keeps getting better.)

7:50pm- Somehow knowing I’ll be naked for most of the party means I spend twice as long on my hair and make up. Femme-security-blanket ftw. 

8:17pm- omg OMG you know what would go perfectly with my costume?! My pretty pink cuffs!!!! SQUEEEEEEE!!!!!!! 

8:39pm- (Dies from awesome when she realises her pink earrings match her cuffs which match her panties.)

9:58pm- My sexy husband and I snicker as we pass a giant billboard en route to the party with the following ad: 

Fuck those Winter blahhhhhhs. I went to my favourite bakery today and bought some sort of salted caramel chocolate brownie and cookie dough cake. Yes sir I did. And I am going to smoke a joint and eat the whole cake and cross my fingers that my husband follows through with that foot-rub he promised. (And then see about following up on some of the things I may have promised.)

Fuck those Winter blahhhhhhs. I went to my favourite bakery today and bought some sort of salted caramel chocolate brownie and cookie dough cake. Yes sir I did. And I am going to smoke a joint and eat the whole cake and cross my fingers that my husband follows through with that foot-rub he promised. (And then see about following up on some of the things I may have promised.)

(Source: herdirtylittleheart)

Things that make me feel better:
  1. Weed.
  2. Cute flirty notes from a tumbl buddy in my ask box. <3
  3. Hearing about your successes using my Holiday Gift Guide. (Check it out if you’re still not finished/started your shopping/making.)
  4. Queuing up pictures of pretty girls to post tomorrow.
  5. Texts from sansshame pouting that I’m not there to get things started at his party tonight. (I assured him they would all find a way to get naked without me.)
Bad habits are bad habit-y awesome. (Current status.)

Bad habits are bad habit-y awesome. (Current status.)

Current status.
Being baked and listening to city and colour and writing writing writing are all exactly what I need right now. And tea.
"There&#8217;s a degree of difficulty in dealing with me."
Yeah.

Current status.

Being baked and listening to city and colour and writing writing writing are all exactly what I need right now. And tea.

"There’s a degree of difficulty in dealing with me."

Yeah.

(Source: fauxmagic)

We smoked a joint in our living-room afterwards. It was really nice. My husband and Ben in their underwear, Bette in my husbands hoodie and nothing else, me naked. Bette and I sat on the couch together while my husband played a little guitar and we all blabbed and giggled. She doesn’t identify as bisexual, isn’t so sure about the label, but she likes me, I can tell.

We passed the joint around and she stretched and rearranged herself so she was curled up on my lap with her head on my shoulder. I snuggled into her, smiled to myself. Her hair smelled so good, and I love how it felt to have it tumbling over my skin. She nuzzled against me and sighed. I’m a sucker.

I stroked her hair, running my fingers through it and gently massaging her scalp with my fingertips. She closed her eyes. My heart was in my throat. I hardly know her, but it felt so familiar to touch a woman this way. It made me ache.

And then she said something stoned and ridiculous and we all laughed and my husband played a happier song and she moved and the moment passed.

Just as moments do.

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